I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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