If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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