Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
