She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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