hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
should my penis look like a turkey
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
