he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His hands were made for my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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