Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
