Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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