I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
