so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
