i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
