So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's like iHOP with fire
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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