so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
did i just pee glitter
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
