we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
