no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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