Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
