did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
