Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
