I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize