Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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