Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize