I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
