Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
