I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
