Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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