Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
this is an emotional support booty call
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
