My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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