I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Everything about him screamed your future.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
