this beer tastes like vomit already
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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