have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize