How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's never too late to be topless.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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