Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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