everyone is single if you try hard enough
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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