There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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