i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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