I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
