Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
