If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
