The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
