Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize