You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize