I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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