Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
