my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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