He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
