So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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