i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
