Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
