Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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