Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize