We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
