I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
