okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
