So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
