Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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