I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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