I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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