is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
