i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
