By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
