I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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